The Guide to Happy Giving

Originally in ForbesGiving Tuesday might officially be behind us, but let’s face it—we’re just getting started. The giving season is underway, with the holidays and year-end bearing down on us. So how can we transform one of the more stressful, and sometimes guilt-ridden, elements of the season into something more life-giving?

Whether you’re giving to a family member, a friend or a cause, please consider the following four directives as a guide to happy giving:

1)   Give out of impulsion, not compulsion. Compulsion to give can arise from the mountain of expectations, perceived or otherwise, heaped upon us at this time of year. (Those expectations are more often self-imposed, by the way.) Impulsion, on the other hand, comes from within. Give because you want to, not because you have to. And don’t give if you don’t want to. 

Are Our Gifts Worth Anything?

On my Forbes blog this week, I shared the story and video of the Best Gift I Ever Received and how it surprisingly helped me navigate life and money.  Because that gift has continued to increase in value throughout my life, it led me to this difficult question: Do the gifts I give appreciate in value or depreciate?  I was challenged further, wondering: Do I give gifts out of compulsion—just to check something off my to-do list—or am I really putting my heart into it, making an investment in my loved ones?

My honest answer to both of those questions is less admirable than I’d hope.

So, with Christmas literally upon us, I’d love to learn from YOU: 

What are some of the gifts you’ve received—either tangible or intangible—that, like the best gift I ever received, have continued to accrue in value and pay dividends throughout life? 

And what are some of the best gift ideas you’ve devised that you’ve seen bless others tremendously?

 Please comment below, and have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Gifting: The Pressure is OFF

A-christmas-story-ralphie-santa We’re now in the midst of the holiday season.   The Season of Giving, right?  And with all of the great things about this season also comes gifting stress.  You know how it works…You get together with someone this time of year for lunch or coffee and they come bearing gifts.  You immediately feel like a putz because you didn’t get one, so as soon as you leave, you head to the mall and buy them a gift…out of guilt.

Or, your children spend the entire month of December hearing about all the presents that their friends at school are going to get.  They start listing out the aggregate of ALL the gifts they’ve been hearing about at school on a daily basis and you are burdened by the thought that your child might be hanging his or her head at the lunch table when all the kids are discussing what they got.  So, you get them…everything.

You have a new boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancé or spouse and this is your first holiday season together, so you decide that you’re going to show them you know how to do it right.  And, you’re scared to death that they are going to outspend you, so you make sure that they don’t…out of fear.

Fear and guilt are not good motivators.   Thoughtful, heartfelt impulsion, on the other hand, is a great way to gift.  So, if you’re a last minute gift buyer like me, I suggest that you sit down and think about who you feel impelled to give a gift to, and then actually apply a budget to each gift – a guideline on how much you want to spend.  NEVER use credit to pay for a gift, because then you start the New Year off with a lower net worth than you had the day after Thanksgiving.  If you free yourself from giving out of guilt or fear, you’ll enjoy the season all the more.