How Money Destroys Relationships

Originally in ForbesMoney destroys relationships because people can’t compete with money. Money, after all, doesn’t disappoint you, or express disappointment with you.

It’s not that money is inherently bad or evil, but it’s not inherently good or righteous either. Money is simply a neutral tool that can be used well or poorly. It only has the value—the personality and the relational standing—that we give it.

One of the few criticisms I have of the movement to explore the psychology of money is its use of the phrase “your relationship with money.” Unintentionally, this gives money entirely too much credit by implying personhood. Indeed, if you have a “relationship” with money, you’re likely elevating it unnecessarily, and maybe even subconsciously devaluing those in your life who actually have a heartbeat.

How did we get here, to the point where we’ve personified—and in some cases deified—the “almighty” dollar? Yes, I’m sure it’s due to our culture of consumerism, the perpetual marketing machine, but I primarily blame institutions of which I am a part: the financial industry and the business that has grown up around consumer personal finance experts. In these realms, money has been made the goal or end, when in reality it is only the vehicle or means. What, then, can we do to relegate money to its rightful place?

First, we can better understand how we deal with money by better understanding ourselves.

What is your first memory of dealing with money? Typically, it doesn’t take more than a few seconds for us to recall our first allowance or cash gift, our first theft or childhood extortion. The incredible impact these experiences had on us is apparent. Events decades past immediately spring to mind. Would you rate your first money memory as a positive or negative experience?

Now take a few moments and jot down your prominent memories—both good and bad—of dealing with money, especially early in life. Include anything particularly impactful later in life as well: The job loss that forced an unwanted move away from childhood friends; the windfall that came just in time; the formative investment experience that burned or elated you.

Behavioral science suggests that our money-related hardwiring occurs largely in the first 10 years of life and that our proclivities—for better and worse—are formed by our experiences. Don’t be shocked to discover that the negative experiences seem to have an even bigger impact, as studies show we suffer more (about twice as much) from the pain of loss than we benefit from the joy of gains.

Consider creating a list of your most prominent money memories. Catalogue your estimated age, the event and the impact it had on you, positively or negatively:

“5 – Received an allowance – Felt great; my first taste of independence.”

“8 – Parents divorced – Horrible; insufficient income to manage two households.”

Keep going. See if you can come up with a Top 10 list of momentous money memories. Then review your personal money story and bask in the glow of self-awareness. It explains a lot, right?

Second, we can share our story with those we’re going through life with and learn more about their story. The number-one reason cited for the divorces that split more than half of American families is financial disagreement. This is because we have the capacity (and for some, the tendency) to demonize our spouses for their apparently wayward ways. “You’re a spendthrift!” “No, you’re a miser!”

Completing this exercise will help you see your spouse for who they are—a collection of their experiences. But don’t stop there. Share your money memories with your kids and ask them about their prominent memories (if you dare).

Lastly, it’s helpful to understand an economic term that could help improve your relational money dealings: sunk cost. Sunk cost is water that’s already gone under the proverbial bridge. The rational economist doesn’t weigh what has already been spent and can never be retrieved when making present financial decisions or future plans. The best plan forward is simply the best plan forward, regardless of the past. (That stock or mutual fund, by the way, doesn’t know the price at which you purchased it, and it doesn’t care where you want it to go.)

How helpful might this be in navigating your future? To acknowledge that what’s done is done, opening the door to forgiving your parents, your significant other, your children and, most importantly, yourself?

The good news is that people who see money as it is—a lifeless but effective tool—typically end up managing it better and often accumulate more of it in the long run. The great news is that people who don’t develop a relationship with money tend to have better, richer relationships with the living, breathing humans in their lives.

Simple Money Featured On The Today Show

Recently, I had the distinct privilege to join Sheinelle Jones on the Today show, discussing some rapid-fire personal finance issues in Simple Money style.  Is now a good time to buy stocks?  Is it a good time to buy, sell, refinance or renovate a home?  We even discussed a version of the Simple Money Portfolio and my top two picks for cash flow apps that can improve your financial situation.  Click HERE or on the image below to view the segment.

Tim Maurer on Today Show

Building a Strong Portfolio in 7 Simple Steps

Originally published CNBCThe movement of markets is so incredibly complicated that even the world’s most skilled portfolio managers struggle mightily to “beat the market” over the long-term. Building a strong portfolio, therefore, must be similarly (and singularly) complex, right? Wrong. While portfolio architecture and management is not easy, here is a seven-step process that makes it surprisingly simple:

Step 1: Know thyself.

This ancient Greek wisdom is where we must begin, because personal finance is more personal than it is finance. Investing is complex because we are complex. Therefore, we must understand ourselves before we try to understand the markets. This means honestly gauging your time horizon and the returns necessary to meet your goals, but it’s especially important that you understand your willingness to take risk in the markets. You must take the gut-check test.

Step 2: Understand investing.

It’s true that you shouldn’t invest in something you don’t understand, because when times get tough you’re more likely to part with even the best investment strategy if you don’t sufficiently comprehend the logic behind it. My colleague, author Larry Swedroe, says in his unmistakable New York accent, “You oughta be able to explain your investment strategy to a fifth grader.” You should be familiar with the compressed history of “the market” and work to become conversant in the foremost systematic, academic approach to market investing—Modern Portfolio Theory (MPT).

Step 3: Design your portfolio.

Once we’ve acquainted ourselves with, well, ourselves (as well as the fundamentals of markets and investing) it’s time to build our portfolio. I’ve created a simple starting point for investors that synthesizes the essentials of MPT—by diversifying across a broad cross section of equity asset classes, favoring those that have historically outperformed—and a basic understanding of behavioral finance—by reducing portfolio volatility through the anchor of conservative fixed income. Refer back to Step 1 to determine if this balance of stocks and bonds is appropriate, or if it should be calibrated more aggressively (by increasing the allocation to stocks) or conservatively (by increasing the bond allocation).

Simple-Money-Portfolio-Chart

Step 4: Implement your portfolio.

Ok, now you’ve got the knowledge and the plan, but all of that is worthless if you don’t actually translate it into action. Because we have no control over market fluctuations, we must focus on controlling the factors that we can. Chief among these is the cost of investing. I recommend avoiding commission-sold mutual funds and “actively” managed funds with higher internal expense ratios, favoring instead no-load, “passive” or indexed funds in your corporate retirement plans, self-managed accounts and accounts under the stewardship of a financial advisor.

Step 5: Monitor—but don’t micro-manage—your portfolio.

You want to be cognizant of what’s happening in your portfolio but not obsessed about it, because paying too much attention to your portfolio usually works against you. Yes, certain actions may be advisable when markets move—see Step 6—but making major changes midstream typically hurts more than it helps. And if you absolutely must, when it’s appropriate, “get out of the market,” click HERE.

Step 6: Rebalance your portfolio.

Especially in times of significant market volatility, the inevitable question arises: “So, I’m just supposed to sit here and watch my portfolio get clobbered?” No, you need not sit idly by. If the market has moved enough that you’re getting a nervous feeling in your gut, chances are good that your portfolio is out of balance. In such cases, it’s entirely appropriate to bring your portfolio allocation back to its starting point through the act of rebalancing. While rebalancing has not necessarily been proven to “make you more money over time,” it does help reduce overall portfolio volatility.

Step 7: Fund your portfolio.

Too often, we seek to blame others—perhaps a spouse, investment managers or even the markets—for having too little in our portfolios. But while any (or all) of those parties may share in the blame, don’t forget that we—YOU—are the primary determinant of your investment success through the contributions you make. How your portfolio is structured absolutely is important (and that’s the focus of this article) but the biggest factor for success in investing is not the nuance of your portfolio management style, but your willingness to persistently save a meaningful portion of your hard-earned income. This ensures you can recreate your income at some point in the future when you’re unwilling or unable to do so.

The Millennial Guide To Managing Risk With Insurance

Originally in Forbes“I’m too [fill in the blank] to worry about insurance.” If you’re a millennial, there are plenty of words you could choose from to complete that sentence. Perhaps “young,” “poor,” “busy” and “skeptical” are good ones (for starters).

You might have enough insurance.  You might even have too much.  But I’d bet you don’t have as much as you need in some categories, too.  Regardless, ignorance is neither blissful nor beneficial at any age, so let’s ask and answer the questions below, reviewing the most prominent types of insurance that may—or may not—be important for you to consider.

First, allow me to offer a fundamental insurance lesson that will serve you well now and into the future: Don’t just buy insurance. Instead, manage risk.

I offer the following Risk Management Guide as a template for making insurance decisions in my book, Simple Money:

Risk Management Guide

Simple Money Is Here

A No-Nonsense Guide to Personal Finance

Unfortunately, personal finance has been reduced to a short list of “Dos” and a long (long) list of “Don’ts” typically based on someone else’s priorities in life, not yours.

But personal finance is actually more personal than it is finance.

Learn More and Get Your Copy of Simple Money

That’s why what works great for someone else may not work as well for you. Money management is complex because we are complex. Therefore, it is in better understanding ourselves—our history with money and what we value most—that we are able to bring clarity to even the most confounding decisions in money and life. As an advisor, speaker and author, I’ve made a career out of demystifying complex financial concepts into understandable, doable actions. In this practical book, I’ll show you how to

  • find contentment by redefining “wealth”
  • establish your priorities, articulate your goals, and find your calling
  • design a personal budgeting system you can (almost) enjoy
  • create a simple, world-class investment portfolio that has beaten the pros
  • manage risk—with and without insurance
  • ditch the traditional concept of retirement and plan for financial independence
  • cheat death and build a legacy
  • and more

Learn More About The Author

The problem with so much personal finance advice is that it’s unnecessarily complicated, often with the goal of selling you things you don’t need. Tim Maurer never plays that game. His straightforward, candid and yes — simple — prescriptions are always right on target. Jean Chatzky
financial editor of NBC's 'Today Show'

Here’s what others are saying about Simple Money:

“Reading this book is like having your own personal financial advisor.”—Kimberly Palmer, senior money editor at US News & World Report; author of The Economy of You

“You can’t manage your money without thinking about your life—and the system that Tim proposes can make a radical difference in both.”—Chris Guillebeau, New York Times bestselling author of The $100 Startup and The Happiness of Pursuit

“Maurer teaches us how to literally redefine wealth in a way that will both honor your life values and priorities while simultaneously reducing your stress.”—Manisha Thakor, CFA, director of wealth strategies for women for the BAM Alliance; writer for The Wall Street Journal

“Amen! Amen! Amen! Simplicity is a gift . . . and this book offers it by the truckload!”—Carl Richards, New York Times columnist;  author of The One-Page Financial Plan

Read more praise for ‘Simple Money’

How To Know When To Get Out Of The Market

Originally published CNBCHas the market’s recent volatility worried you? Me too. It’s inevitable. Apparently, it’s how we’re wired. But better understanding that wiring can give us a clear decision-making framework to help us know if and when to get out of the market.

The field of behavioral finance has demonstrated that the pain we derive from market losses impacts us twice as much as the pleasure we feel from market gains. For this reason, investors are well served to name and address these emotions instead of setting them aside as they (unfortunately) have been taught.

We’ve all heard of the cost/benefit decision-making model, but “cost” and “benefit” are intellectual constructs too distant from the actual emotions that drive our decision-making. We need to address the gut—the “pain” and the “pleasure” associated with a tough decision. The following four-step model seeks to merge the head and the gut. And while it’s applicable in virtually any either/or scenario, let’s specifically address the decision to stay invested in the market or to move to cash:

Market Decision Image Cropped

1) The pain of staying invested is that I could lose even more.

SPEAKING: On Personal Finance

I'd love to speak at your next event!

Personal finance is more personal than it is finance. This is a message, grounded in science, that I’m privileged to share in various forms speaking for various audiences. Whether for an association of financial planners, a Fortune 500 company, an academic institution or a non-profit, my strategy is to ENGAGE, ENTERTAIN and EDUCATE your audience, giving attendees tangible takeaways to improve their lives and work.

Why The Stock Market Is Volatile, Why Volatility Hurts, And What To Do About It

Originally in ForbesUnless you made a resolution not to read, listen to or watch the news in 2016, you’ve likely noticed that “the market” is off to a stumbling start. Indeed, one glance at the headlines, at least the ones that don’t involve the presidential election, quickly reveals that the market is having one of its worst starts to any new year. This is a dubious distinction, to be sure.

The factors involved appear similar to those credited for causing the extreme volatility we saw in the fall of 2015—slower growth in China, falling oil prices, geopolitical instability and the threat of bankruptcies in junk bonds. But the optimist’s case seems equally compelling—high-quality bonds (the only kind I recommend) are performing very well, falling oil prices are good for consumers, the Fed’s interest rate rise signals a strengthening U.S. economy and the most recent jobs report was positive.

An objective view of the market reminds us that on every trading day in history, there have been compelling cases to be made for both optimism and pessimism—for purchases or sales. (Remember that every single security transaction involves a buyer and a seller, each of whom believes he or she is getting the better end of the deal.)

Ultimately, there is only one sufficient answer to the question, “Why is the market so volatile?” The market exhibits volatility because that is its nature.

10 Things You Absolutely Need To Know About Life Insurance

Originally in ForbesLife insurance is one of the pillars of personal finance, deserving of consideration by every household. I’d even go so far as to say it’s vital for most. Yet, despite its nearly universal applicability, there remains a great deal of confusion, and even skepticism, regarding life insurance.

Life insurance

Perhaps this is due to life insurance’s complexity, the posture of those who sell it or merely our preference for avoiding the topic of our own demise. But armed with the proper information, you can simplify the decision-making process and arrive at the right choice for you and your family.

To help, here are 10 things you absolutely need to know about life insurance:

  1. If anyone relies on you financially, you need life insurance. It’s virtually obligatory if you are a spouse or the parent of dependent children. But you may also require life insurance if you are someone’s ex-spouse, life partner, a child of dependent parents, the sibling of a dependent adult, an employee, an employer or a business partner. If you are stably retired or financially independent, and no one would suffer financially if you were to be no more, then you don’t need life insurance. You may, however, consider using life insurance as a strategic financial tool.

Save Social Security For When You Need It Most–Later

Originally published CNBCI think we’ve been looking at Social Security retirement benefits all wrong. In the long-running debate about when to take Social Security — as early as age 62 or as late as age 70 — the focus has been on timing your claim to get the most money, in total, out of the social safety net.

Social Security Word Cloud

This is a circular argument that will never be fully decided until the Social Security recipient in question dies. So let’s shift the focus from the question “How do we get the most out of Social Security?” to “How do we get Social Security when we need it most?”

Simply put, you’re more likely to run out of money at the end of retirement than at the beginning.